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December 14, 2019
EXTRA EXTRA .....READ ALL ABOUT IT!
After 40 years the owner of Pikes Market Newsstand in Seattle is closing at year end. At one time they carried over 200 newspapers from around the US and worldwide. Today the owner says “My customers are only a few old people like me, young folks don’t read newspapers anymore”
And so it goes....soundbites on the internet, quick 3 second glances at headlines, picking their poison from left and right along with insane right web pages is how the news is now delivered. It’s the dumbing of America.
December 13, 2019
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO LINDNER
So, a funny thing happened yesterday. No, I mean other than the impeachment hearings.
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I had lunch with three old classmates that I went to high school with in California. One was visiting from Missouri, the other two live in the Portland area. It was a VERY pleasant get together. I just barely recalled this gentleman by name, but once I looked him up in the yearbook, I remembered him. He wasn’t sure who I was either, so before I’d arrived, he did likewise. So he asked me:
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Him: “Were you in Mrs. Wilhelmson’s cooking class in our junior year? I think I remember you.”
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Me: “I was!”
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“I remember a practical joke you played on the class.” (Practical jokester? Me? In cooking class? Pshaaw). He recounted how I pretended I was going to sneeze, with a big dramatic buildup, then when I finally let loose, I flung a piece of chicken skin out of my hand which landed with a splat. I don’t recall that SPECIFIC incident, but that was a gag I often pulled using whatever gross foodstuffs were at hand. Mrs. Wilhelmson kicked me out of the class for the remainder of the day.
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So I confessed. “Yeah, that was probably me. I could be a real jerk back then.” I then told of the time when I played a practical joke on the three girls who worked in the kitchenette next to mine: I reached into their pantry, grabbed their salt and sugar canisters and switched the contents. One of the victims of that stunt, my Facebook friend of many years; Louise Scouten, has since forgiven me. (Worst angel food cake EVER)!
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So this gentleman, Kurt, put his hand of my arm: “That was you!? Oh, brother!”
(💭 Oh shit! This guy’s bigger than me. Methinks I’m about to receive a comeuppance fifty years in the making!)
It turns out Louise and her two kitchen-mates weren’t the only victims of that dastardly deed. Kurt was assigned to make a dozen chocolate chip cookies. He figured he’d quintuple the recipe and make cookies for himself and 59 of his friends. He and his two teammates shared the same kitchenette with Louise’s team, so when it was time to measure out the ingredients, unbeknownst to him, instead of using 5 teaspoons of salt he used 5 teaspoons of sugar. And instead of using 5 cups of sugar he used 5 cups of salt.
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Hardee-har-har, right? Not so much. Mrs. Wilhelmson gave him an F.
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Oops. 😳
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Anyway, we all had a good laugh about it. But to have the mystery solved 50+ years after the crime was committed, with the perpetrator standing right in front of you pleading nolo contendre, had to be cathartic for Kurt.
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For me, I felt like a 17 year old jerk all over again. 😖
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