STUMPTOWNBLOGGER

LINDNER’S WORLD

Welp, tonight was the road test for my newfangled ceramic-coated grill.

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The vehicle: A 1 pound cut of mother Costco’s finest USDA Prime ribeye.

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The course: The aforementioned grill/griddle gizmo (made by Gotham steel, available at Walmart for $29.00).

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The results: Best goddamn steak I’ve had in years. The grill heats uniformly from edge to edge, even over a low flame.

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The down side: Calling it nonstick is a bit of a misnomer. It’s more like “slightstick.” But far easier to clean than a cast iron grill.

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If someone was to ask me if I recommend this thing? Yes I do. Enthusiastically. Even if no one asks. 👍🏼 👍🏼

WORLD OF LINDNER

Everyone knows how smelling a certain perfume, tasting a certain candy or hearing an old song can bring back fond memories, right? Not a déjà vu, but something gets “triggered” in the brain by external stimulus, and it takes you back. I had the mother of all those experiences yesterday morning.

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Like every other kid the world over back in 1963, I got swept up in Beatlemania. I loved the Fab Four from the moment I saw them on Ed Sullivan, all the way through to the end of their run in 1970... and ever since.

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I was in the Javamobile on my way out to Beaverton yesterday morning, listening to the Beatles Channel on SiriusXM, when the opening harmonica of “Love Me Do” came on. In that instant, I was hit by a tsunami of memories. It was as if I got transported back in time 56 years, and in space 630 miles. Something just washed over me. I’ve heard Love Me Do literally hundreds of times over the years, but yesterday was different for some reason. The stars and the song aligned.

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The Beatles hit America when I was 11 years old. When I was 12, I used to hole myself up in my bedroom tinkering with my various hobbies (building model cars, crystal radios in cigar boxes, etc.) while listening to the Fabs on my Sears record player. It wasn’t a stereo; stereo wasn’t quite mainstream yet... just a little turquoise colored clamshell that opened up and let you spin your records. And I’d play those first 2-3 Beatle albums endlessly. I still have them all by the way. Most are monaural, worn down by that shitty Sears record player.

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So I’m driving along yesterday when Love Me Do comes on, and I was instantly transported back to those days. It was almost like an out-of-body experience. I found myself in my old bedroom. There was the green corduroy bedspread on my bed. There was the cardboard refractor telescope that my uncle in Chicago sent me when I was 8. And there was my L-shaped corner desk, with the Bakelite Philco radio my parents let me take apart for its guts.

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I haven’t thought about ANY of that stuff in decades. In fact, I only remembered the Philco radio yesterday, thanks to this phenomenon. I’d completely forgotten about it. The wave of memories was so intense, I pulled off the road into a parking lot, closed my eyes and “toured” the inside of my old bedroom for a few moments.

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Then just as quickly as the sensation hit: it was gone. The song on the radio had ended. I was sitting in a cargo van full of coffee and chocolate on Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway in Oregon, and Peter Noone was on the radio chattering about growing up in Manchester.

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But for a brief moment in time—like a modern day Brigadoon—I was THERE. If not in the flesh, then in mind.

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And it was amazing!

FROM THE OUTER SPACE OF LINDNER

A new image from the Juno spacecraft of Jupiter’s Great Red Spot.

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(That tiny cyclone just left of center is Jupiter’s not-so-great red zit.)

FROM LINDNER’S WORLD

Very cool composition taken from the western coast of Lake Superior earlier this month. The star at top dead-center is Polaris, the Andromeda Galaxy is visible off the port bow, the Big Dipper to starboard, and crowning everything in a soft green glow is the Aurora Borealis. The bright lights on the horizon are markers for breakwaters.

 

Image credit and copyright: Lorenzo Ranieri Tenti

LINDNER’S WORLD

I created a new drink last night, and holy moly, was it tasty. You know how to make a mint julep, right? Well, this ain’t a mint julep. But it’s similar in concept.

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Instead of mint, I used Thai basil. Instead of lemon juice and sugar, I used falernum. And in place of bourbon, I used Cadenhead’s Old Raj gin (which is flavored with saffron).

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I’m calling it “Willamette Backwash.”  🥴

LINDNER'S WORLD

M-kay... I’ve had friends from the neighborhood congratulate me on my “retirement.”

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Someone I don’t even know messaged me a few days ago, asking how much I wanted for the Javamobile II.

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I ran into a Facebook friend at Lowe’s on Sunday who asked me what I planned to do with the Javamobile II.

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An old buddy from high school days congratulated me on my retirement.

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The pharmacist at Costco asked me yesterday who was going to inherit the Pony Espresso spot at the Beaverton Farmer’s Market.

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👉🏼 👉🏼 👉🏼 👉🏼 Breaking News 👈🏼 👈🏼 👈🏼 👈🏼 

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I. AM. NOT. RETIRING. / I. AM. NOT. RETIRING. / I. AM. NOT. RETIRING.

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I just gave up my weekday route. So if anything, I’ve semi-retired. I’ll still work the Beaverton Farmer’s Market on Saturdays, film and TV crews, sporting events, whatever, for as long as I am able. Twenty-five years of working 6 or 7 days a week was enough. I’ll now work 1 or 2. I know, I’m a lazy bum.

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But I have NO PLANS to fully retire. Not now, not anytime in the foreseeable future. And I definitely have NO INTENTIONS of parting with my beloved Javamobile II (are you KIDDING me?), so hold your offers. I still love what I do, and would have continued the route too had fate not intervened late in 2017.

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Arrakis depends on me. If not for the Javamobile II and other independents, the good people of Snappytown would be at the mercy of the evil Baron Schultz of the House of Harkkonnenbucks.

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The Spice must flow.  ☕️

Join Bruce's Faccebook page....It's great  

https://www.facebook.com/macbruce

LINDNER’S WORLD

Stop me if you’ve heard me say this before. You know what I hate? What I really, REALLY hate?

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I hate plumbing. I HATE IT!

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What started out as laundry day ended up being an adventure in hoses, wrenches and bloodied knuckles. I ran a load of towels around 4:00 am, then sat down to read some news. But something didn’t sound right. The sound of Multnomah Falls was emanating from my laundry room. I shut off the washer. The sound continued.

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The hot water hose had an aneurysm. Then it ruptured. I hadn’t even had my coffee yet. Or a shower. Now I’m standing in 1/2” of water inside my house.

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No problem. I have two spare washer hoses in the garage.

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Yes problem: No gaskets. They didn’t come with gaskets. What kind of washer hose is sold without gaskets? 😫

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So I waited until Lowe’s opened at 8:00 am. They’re about four miles away.

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I drove to Lowe’s, grabbed some gaskets and hustled back home. I put the gaskets in the hoses. Then I discovered the hoses are too short. I need 5’ hoses and the hoses from my garage are only 3’ hoses. 🤯

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Story of my life. Hose too short to git ‘er done.

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Back to Lowe’s I went.

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Me: “I need some 6’ washer connection hoses.”

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Help desk: “Aisle 16 sir.”

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I’m at aisle 16. There are lots of hoses. Even steel braided hoses. I grabbed those. Up to the checkout I went.

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Checkout clerk: “$28.99 sir.”

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I reach in my pocket. No wallet. I left my goddamn wallet at home.

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Back home I go. I. Am. PISSED 😤 . I grab my wallet. Back to Lowe’s I go.

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I buy the 6’ steel braided washer hoses... 👉🏼 WITH FOUR GASKETS 👈🏼 (Yes, I checked first).

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I return home. I install them. I mop the floor. I check all four connections for leaks. No leaks. Which reminds me, at this point I need to take a leak.

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I shower. Make coffee. Run a load of laundry. Everything’s kosher. 👌🏼 

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Eight hours from first attempt to wash my socks and skivvies to mission accomplished. EIGHT HOURS. And 24 miles on my car for three (3) round-trips to Lowe’s.

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There are humans living in orbit around the Earth right this very minute. We all carry highly advanced computers around in our pockets and purses. Yet we still move water from point A to point B the same way the Romans did. In tubular conduits that rupture without warning. (Surprise!)

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Science has to drop everything and concentrate on perfecting a method of moving water around via osmosis.

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Either that, or I’m going to smell like a nanny goat in heat from now on.

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I hate plumbing. I HATE IT!  😖

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If Donald Trump was a thing, he’d be plumbing.

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💦 💦💦💦 #IHATEPLUMBING! 💦💦💦💦

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=677676144

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO LINDNER

You’ve heard stories like this before, right? Some farmer/pack rat dies unexpectedly, and his family discovers a 1937 Packard or 1931 Cord 812 when they’re cleaning up his estate. Well, here’s one for the record books.

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A farmer (of course!) in France, by the name of Henry Ruggieri, passed away recently. When his relatives cracked open his barn doors, they discovered a veritable gold mine. Oldsmobile Toronados, Cadillac Eldorados, Corvettes, two 1956 Continental Mk II’s (the design of which was later reduced in size to become the blueprint for the first Mustang). He also had a 1961 Series 1 Jaguar E-Type, a 1953 Porsche 356, 1947 Hotchkiss, various Alfas, Citroëns, Lancias  and Peugeots, and the pièce de résistance... that red Lamborghini Miura—quite possibly the most beautiful car ever penned.

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Monsieur Ruggieri’s entire collection was auctioned off on Saturday. The Porsche 356, even though basically just a rusted hulk, sold for $54,000. The Jag went for $112,000. And the Lamborghini? Even beat up and used as a planter for fungi for five decades? $636,000.

A LETTER FROM THE PRESIDUNCE OF THE UNITED STATES

 

• Yellow: Unnecessary and inappropriate use of capitalization.

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• Light green: Not hyphenated.

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• Purple: Factually incorrect. Neither an excursion nor a public relations event.

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• Light Blue: The White House men’s room janitor helped him with this one.

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• Red: Untrue. Nothing he’s ever said to anybody is sincere.

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• Fuchsia: False. Border security isn’t a “movement.” It’s a policy. A policy you’ve botched.

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• Green brace: Failed to use justify alignment mode. Every twelve year old knows better.

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• In publicizing this letter, Trump has announced to the world what Speaker Pelosi’s travel plan was. So even once the shutdown is over, she probably won’t be safe rescheduling, because any potential adversaries will now know she’s coming.

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From The World according to LINDNER 

WORLD ACCORDING TO LINDNER

Serious question: What was the process that led up to that poster being in this scene? It’s a foregone conclusion whose idea it was, but what led up to it being there? Was there a discussion? Was there any pushback from his staff? From anyone in that room? Did anyone point out “Mr. President, this is a televised Cabinet meeting. Sanctions aren’t on the agenda. The message in this poster is dated November 4th. Today is January 2nd. It’s an indignity to the rest of us in the room.”

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Look at the faces on the people in that room. Is there a single person there who doesn’t know their boss is mentally ill? Yet they go along with this latter day Caligula. They pretend everything is normal as he maligns yet another outgoing general who put principles before policies that were repugnant to him. He also criticized Barack Obama, Jeff Flake, Bob Corker and Mitt Romney. During a CABINET MEETING! A Cabinet meeting that opened with a nauseating display of suck-uppery by his interim Attorney General.

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This scene may seem merely “inappropriate” to some folks, but I see it as a symptom of how far we’ve fallen. Iconography to oneself is yet more proof that we’re on the road to authoritarianism. Not just on the road, but in the fast lane.

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I hope I live long enough to witness the day when Congress deems this man’s image doesn’t belong on any official government portrait, coin, postage stamp or statue. He already has truckloads of shrines to himself that he can fawn over at Mar-a-Lago.